2018, now 2019

it’s been a while since i’ve written here. i’m not sure why i find it so difficult to write blog posts when i know there’s only 2 people who read this (including me). anyway, i thought it would be appropriate to write something now because it’s january and it’s a new year.

2018 was tough and a lot of it was my fault. i failed a lot, didn’t try hard enough, and didn’t do enough to make things better. i got rejected by so many companies for summer 2018 internships (namely microsoft and IBM, both of which i had a lot of hope for). i did terribly in many of my classes, did a lot of damage to my health through bad nutrition, and felt unfulfilled. but i also did manage to quit my job at starbucks and have more time to myself. i learned how to drive after 3 years of putting it off. i got a new job as a TA, and later as an instructor, for coding classes for middle school students. i also had another job in the fall where i mentored middle school students and helped them build an android game (but mostly just had fun joking around with them and learning about middle school culture). and later i got a few interviews/coding challenges for summer 2019 internships–ending in an internship offer given to me just last week.

lots of ups and downs. i’m not special in saying that. i know it happens to everyone and this isn’t anything new or exciting to read. it’s hard for me to write down my accomplishments without thinking about the better things others have done. i don’t want to be like this anymore.


in 2019 i want to use my bullet journal more and use my time as best as i can–i want to do things with intention. i want to rest because it’s good for me and i want to work on coding projects because it’s fun. i want to go to more places, floss my teeth more, probably lose 5 pounds, write in a diary again, and just feel better about myself. i want to not care about what others do or how they may or may not be better than i am because it!! does!! not!! matter!! i will eat food and not feel guilty and not work more hours a week than i am comfortable with. i do not want to be scared or unprepared when i live in nyc for the summer. i want to be better.

my new job

today is the first day of my new job! i’m going to be a teaching assistant for a class teaching scratch to elementary school kids web development to middle school kids over the summer. i’m finally doing adult things and actually putting myself out there! what a surprise!

also, i don’t think i ever posted about my old job on here. i worked at a starbucks on campus for about six months starting last summer and ending in february. it was fun, but really stressful. classes got hard and i didn’t have enough time for myself, so everything kind of snowballed and didn’t go too well. but i think i came out a better and more outgoing person.

anyway, onto my new job–

i thought i would be doing an internship  this summer at some big company, but clearly i’m not. it was kind of like in high school where i was so concerned with going to a “smart” school that people would be impressed with. and like in high school, i didn’t get accepted where i wanted. but i’ve come to realize that it doesn’t!! matter!! and maybe an internship isn’t even what i want or need right now…

teaching has always been a big interest of mine and if you know me personally, you know that i won’t shut up about it. i wanted to work under a fancy company in the tech industry for so long, but as of late i’ve been thinking about teaching. i love it, i have experience in it, why not just do it?

so i searched for teaching jobs, researched teaching credential programs, even considering grad school during my (shallow) google searches. and i now have my summer teaching job and several other programming education jobs/internships i’m waiting on hearing back from. i’m thinking this is a better fit for what i want to do with my life. i hope so.

maybe  i’ll change my mind about it later but i’m feeling so good about it now. i can’t wait to make an impact, make a difference, change even one kid’s life, + other inspirational “teacher” things, etc.

wish me luck on my first day!

how am i doing?

i’m doing fine, thanks.

i realize i haven’t posted here in a while. actually, i have–i’ve just deleted a lot of my old posts because i didn’t like them anymore.

i am a computer science major at school now. i think i was a math major at the time of my last post? actually, i think i was still in high school in my last post, lol.

i have been drawing a lot less lately. i’m not sure if it’s because i don’t enjoy it as much, or because i don’t have enough time–i work part time at an on-campus starbucks. and i guess because a  lot of my time is spent studying, doing homework, or working, i’m both uninspired and drained if i ever do get free time.

speaking of lacking free time–i also feel like there’s a lot of pressure for me to spend a lot of my free time programming, and that without a few side projects i won’t be successful in gaining an internship/job/etc. i have an idea in mind, and hopefully, by the end of 2017, i will have a working demo on my website for  it : – )

i have also gotten into writing poetry. i don’t think i will post it on here because i feel like a lot of the posts on this blog are either tech or just life updates? so be on the look out for something on that too.

i should be studying, goodbye and thanks 4 reading!

i need to write some things down

i think it would help if i tried to write my ideas down, otherwise i’ll probably forget them.

also, i don’t want to forget this blog.

habits i want to pick up before summer session

  • use duolingo at least four times a week
    • will i ever need my knowledge of high school french? maybe not, but i’d like to try and preserve it as much as possible. i’ve got this fear of losing my memory (in general, not just french) and i don’t want it to happen, so practicing something often would help out with stopping that (i think).
  • run at least once every two weeks
    • once every two weeks isn’t really a lot at all but i don’t really expect myself to do any better than that, anyway. i’m kind of really unfit and my weight has been the same since starting school last fall and i’m kinda bummed, so starting this habit might help to start losing some of that weight.
  • do something with my godamned website
    • i have no idea what i’m doing but i want to do something cool
  • study once a week for each class i have
    • whether it be re-reading some text or creating some sort of study guide or chart, i want to get into the habit of studying early. i didn’t exactly study last-minute during winter quarter but i feel like the concepts i’m learning in spring quarter will be very important to the rest of college for me and i’d like the stuff to stick for a while.

i also need to get a haircut.

ok bye

// TODO:

since i’m ending high school in about two weeks, i’m heading into the longest summer vacation i’ve had in years. (for reference, usually school begins again in mid-august but this year it begins in mid-september–that is, if i still end up going to college haha!!)

given all this free time, i’ve realized i have so many things i could waste my time doing. i don’t actually have a physical (or digital?) list of these things so i thought i should talk about them in this post and sort them by category.

programming

  • learn more python
  • learn more c++
  • learn some assembly
  • learn how to actually use github

math

  • review for placement test :^)
  • actually try to look up the classes i’m taking next year
  • accept life as a math major

art

  • actually draw something
  • come to terms with breaking up w/photoshop

1440109486551

it’s actually pretty likely that i’ll forget to do these things or i’ll end up procrastinating. but hey, at least i wrote down my goals somewhere. (i am lying to myself!)

should i find more stuff to do, i’ll add them here. ok thanks.